Imagine the amount of rage j.d. salinger would feel if you wrote a sequel to his Important Big Boy Book in which Holden calls something “hella poggers”
“kissing my boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time is hella poggers” –Holden Caulfield, after killing a vampire in Catcher in the Rye 2: Blood Moon
“You either die a Catcher, or live long enough to get Caught”
Bitch is the god of feasts, he’s got chub, he’s got meat. Aphrodite is the god of romance and love but dionysus is the god of sex and orgies, he is ideal cuddling density, dude HAS a tummy.
Dude has broad shoulders and beefy arms for holding and protecting you and just the fattest most luscious ass and thighs you’ve ever seen
All I’m imagining is that one bro at the gym who’s extra thick and has a big waste and could be a couch in and of himself but like would totally be able to lift a whole damn cow if you asked.
I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.
I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”
And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”
“Do you now.”
“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”
“Oh, and why’s that?”
“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”
“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”
Mother cat with kittens came to meet an old friend.
I can’t believe we’ve already found the best animal video of 2016.
That is too adorable. You can tell the mother cat actually does trust the dog just by her body language. Typically a mother will watch her kittens closely and be very protective of them, here she completely trusts the dog to play gentle with them. This is just too damn cute.
When he bops the kitten and looks up at Mom to make sure he didn’t overstep!
The dog is trying to make himself as non-threatening as possible!!
Imagine, you’re in quarantine and you just want to chill a moment, so you watch John Mulaney’s stand up. And then you go on instagram to find that John Mulaney fucking SAW you WATCHING HIM.
